I keep hearing the song, “Halo” by Beyoncé and it makes me wistful. I can feel my entire being wishing I could still sing along in earnest- yet I know I can not. I miss that feeling of being in love and the euphoria that fills the spirit. Resolved in the decision and resigned to the end, I still mourn a loss… now wondering if it was ever more than just a dream. Caught up in the moment, we soared so high and then plummeted to the ground. Like Icarus reaching for the sun, our wings weren’t strong enough to withstand the heat. I just pray that some day we can come back to a place of relating as friends… because despite love not being enough, I still can’t picture my life without him.

These lyrics in Leslie Roy’s song, “Unbeautiful” struck me too…

When did we
Fall apart?
Or did you lie
From the start?
When you said
Its only you
I was blind
Such a fool
Thinking we
Were unbreakable

It was you and me against the world
And you promised me forever more

But then I hear Katy Perry’s, “Hot and Cold” and know these apply too…

We used to be
Just like twins
So in sync
The same energy
Now’s a dead battery
Used to laugh ’bout nothing
….

So much going on in my head… and all I wish was for things to be better. I don’t regret my choice, but damn, I didn’t want this.

 
Yup, I’m a dork.CSI & Natasha Bedingfield, you don’t get much dorkier than that…  LOL :)

I don’t want to crash and burn. I don’t want this feeling to ever end. I want this to be something lasting.

I want… him. *sigh*

We can only be true to ourselves and the feelings we share… I just pray this doesn’t end just as quickly as it began.

And of course, as I’m writing this entry, this song started playing…