Like most people in the United States, people in the LGBTQI and alternative sexuality and relationship communities face great difficulty accessing affordable, comprehensive health care. Systemic discrimination and lack of basic cultural competency prevents many people from accessing medically necessary and appropriate health care and social services.

In an attempt to ensure access to safe, respectful and non-discriminatory health care for the LGBTQI and Sex-Positive communities (and the diverse sub-communities within them), I wish to create a quality-controlled directory of health care providers willing and able to provide quality, culturally competent care to gender and sexual minorities.

If you know of competent and sensitive doctors, nurse practitioners, physician assistants, therapists, midwives, dentists, doulas, etc. that should be added to our list (including yourself), please submit your entries using this quick and easy survey: http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/JudgmentFreeHealthCareProviders

Please help spread the word by passing this along to your friends and colleagues! If you would like to assist with the cost of the project, please donate here:

Thank you for your time and support!

APPLY TO INTERN OR SUBMIT WRITTEN WORK FOR TRANS BODIES, TRANS SELVES
http://www.transbodies.com/ContactUs.html

Trans Bodies, Trans Selves is a resource guide for transgender and other gender-variant people, covering health, legal issues, cultural and social questions, history, theory, and more. It is a place for transgender people, their partners and families, students, professors, guidance counselors, and others to look for up-to-date information on transgender life.

Trans Bodies, Trans Selves is seeking two enthusiastic people to join our team as interns at this time. These two interns will be an integral part of the Trans Bodies, Trans Selves team. Transgender and genderqueer people, people of color, and students are especially encouraged to apply. Also those living in New York City, San Francisco, Ann Arbor, Philadelphia, or Washington, DC, as these locations are places where interns would be able to meet in person with other members of the team. Unfortunately we do not have funds at this time to provide payment to interns. However, we will do our best to work with your school to secure college credit for your internship if this is something that interests you.

The deadline for this round of intern applications is May 15, 2010.

Intern A (Survey intern) – The survey intern will work with the Trans Bodies, Trans Selves team to reach out to those who have taken the online survey. This intern will spend time reading through the material submitted and present interesting stories that should be considered for testimonials to the rest of the team. This intern will also contact survey-takers who have provided their contact information to thank them and to answer any questions they may have and provide them with information on getting involved with the book.

Intern B (Publicity intern) – The publicity intern will work with the Trans Bodies, Trans Selves team to consider our outreach strategies. This intern will work with the website, facebook, and other digital strategies, and also organize the presence of the Trans Bodies, Trans Selves team at events where advertising and/or media may be possible. This intern will also be involved in brainstorming around marketing materials such as postcards, stickers, and bookmarks.

How to apply:
Please submit a letter that answers the following questions:
1)      Why are you interested in interning for Trans Bodies, Trans Selves?
2)      Which of the two projects are you interested in working on and how would you approach this project?
3)      What makes you an ideal intern for this project?
4)      Be sure to include your name, the city where you are located, and your telephone number in your letter.
5)      Also include the time period you expect to be able to devote to your internship with Trans Bodies, Trans Selves. Be specific. For example, “I am a college student with the summer off, so I would like to intern with Trans Bodies, Trans Selves from June 1 through August 30, 2010” or “I can set aside time for the next 6 months to work on this book, so I would be available from the date of my acceptance through November 15, 2010.”
6)      Include a writing sample (Ex. Article you wrote, paper you turned in).
7)      A resume/CV is optional.

Submit all materials to transbodies@gmail.com. The deadline for this round of intern applications is May 15, 2010.

Transgender. Genderqueer. Genderfucker. These labels tell of an identity that veers from the norm. We, who choose to stray from the socialized expectations, walk a path that only the brave and strong can survive. Alone, but joined by our brothers, sisters, and fellow queers on this road, we are different and the pressure to conform and return to the clear lines of male/female, woman/man is strong. The binary and its’ code is pervasive. It is everywhere. You can not turn without its messages of what is correct, what is the ‘right’ way.

From the moment we are brought into the world, we are bombarded with messages about what is proper, what is socially acceptable. Looking in the aisles of toy stores and department stores, the message is clear that boys and girls, men and women, are different. Our parents raise us in the social imperative of the traditional model of gender. Depending on whether the doctor sees an outie or an innie, we are assigned fe/male and then prescribed the gender identity and role of wo/man that we are then expected to become. (Oh, and don’t worry if your sex wasn’t clear to determine- the doctors happily cleared up that “mess” for you! *snicker*) For some, their gender matches the sex they were assigned, and life is good; for others, however, their gender and assigned sex do not [match], and therein lies a discrepancy and a choice. Some choose to walk the line and live the prescribed role and identity that they were allotted at birth; others, like myself, on the other hand, decide to transgress and choose a path all our own. Our journeys and destination (if we have one) may look different, but the process is often the same.

The more I delved into this and learned about myself (and others who have walked this path), I realized that many people become hypergendered before permitting themselves to go against the grain. Many FTMs adopt an ultra-femme identity and way of dressing before they decide to stray from the gender identity and role that they are socially expected to play. In light of this, it’s not surprising I spent that last decade and more creating the persona of Mina Meow- a feminine caricature of the person I am. Being Mina Meow always felt like dressing up (something I enjoy, mind you!), but it was putting on the girl- one of the many costume changes in this theatre called Life. The persona, Mina Meow, was/is like a mask I wear when I want/ed to be someone different.

As I first began to experiment with gender, giving myself freedom to be the boy I feel inside, I kept the two personas separate for my own sake and for those around me. After a while, however, I started to realize my ‘boy’ and ‘femme’ sides weren’t so much separate entities as much as different costumes. I realized that Mina Meow IS Aiden Fyre; Aiden Fyre IS Mina Meow. They really are one and the same… it’s just that the clothing is different (with a few small differences in gendered behaviors).

Giving myself permission to be butch, to discard the socially-expected Barbie/June Cleaver model as the only way to be, has been incredibly freeing. With each layer I’ve peeled away, the more I’ve learned about myself, about who I am and what feels right. It’s a never-ending process and I love seeing things unravel! I love deconstructing myself and discovering something new, some part of myself that I hadn’t been conscious of until now! It’s exhilarating.

So, when people ask if I see myself merging- I tell them ‘yes’. I’m actively trying to merge them so that they are all one piece. I’m a transmasculine butch who just happens to also be a lolita girl and a faggy boy.

I’m masculine and feminine- just a queer mix of both.

This showed up in Essinem’s inbox, and thought the best way to get the word out would be to put it up on her blog. I couldn’t agree more! Please feel free to repost, talk it up, take it, etc.

Hi everyone,

I’m editing a book and would love your help finding transgender/genderqueer people, as well as their parents and partners for a survey. The answers will appear as quotes in the book, similarly to Our Bodies, Ourselves.

Want to be part of a resource guide for transgender and other gender-variant people?

Trans Bodies, Trans Selves features a line-up of wonderful transgender and genderqueer authors, and they’re looking for your help to make the book amazing.

Take the survey and your thoughts could appear in the book!

Go to http://www.transbodies.com/Survey.html for surveys designed for:

-Transgender/genderqueer people

-Parents of gender-variant children

-Partners of transgender/genderqueer people

Please forward widely.

YOUR VOICE is greatly appreciated!

Laura Erickson-Schroth, MD, MA

Editor, Trans Bodies, Trans Selves

transbodies@gmail.com
http://transbodies.com

Being gender-fluid as you are, have you noticed any differences in arousal/climax between your selves?

I would have to say that Mina and Aiden approach sex differently. Mina is seductive, alluring, mostly sexually-submissive- although sometimes she initiates the fun. Mina is the one that wants to be TAKEN. She wants to be lusted after, desired and defiled. Mina’s ultimate fantasy is to be thrown down and made to take a hard cock.

Aiden, on the other hand, is the truely assertive sexual top. He’s the horny teenage boy who is up for almost anything. Want to be fisted? Wanna fuck? How about DP? Aiden is up to the challenge. Aiden is certainly the one who chases. He especially loves the pretty little things. BUT, Aiden also has a deep-seated desire to be taken by a boy… roughed-up, treated like a piece of meat, and fucked hard. He wants to be put in his place… at their feet or under their boot.

Climax, though, I can’t say for certain… that’s something I’m still working on. :)

Peering into my closet and realizing where I’m at, I find it interesting that I identify as “genderqueer”, “transgender”, “girl”, and “boy.” Nowhere in that list is the label “woman” or “man.” I can’t bring myself to wear the clothes that scream “woman” or “man.” They don’t feel authentic or true. It’s weird. I don’t know what to make of it, but it sure is an interesting observation.

It sure will be interesting to see where this journey leads me and what all this means…

I was given a bi-gendered name at birth. Heavily female socialized yet raised in a home that was supportive of masculine activities and interests, I never felt girly growing up and didn’t even like pink as a child. I had an overactive imagination and preferred adventuring in the woods to playing “house.” I wanted to be able to stand and pee like my dad (and be able to pee in the snow!) I can still recall stating in my late-teens or early 2o’s, “If I had a penis, I would probably never stop touching myself.” Hell, it wasn’t until I turned 22 that I suddenly (almost quite literally) discovered I really was a girl and started to like pink, wear make-up, style my hair, and act decidedly feminine.  Frankly, I was convinced I was a butch tom-boy until my 20′s when years of being told otherwise finally sunk in.

How did I end up coming full-circle? I switched from Toni, a bi-gendered name, to Wilhelmina, a very female-gendered name. Aside of the negative association to the name (having been named after my father, Anthony), years of aggravation over being mistaken for a man or having my name misspelled with a “y” instead of an “i” motivated me to legally change my name to what began as a scene name in 1997. Considering these days I teeter-totter back and forth between female and male genders (as well as embodying both) and struggle to help people see where I’m at by using Mina and Aiden as cues, it seems almost too poetic. On days, like today, when I struggle to find a name that signifies both/all sides of me and come up empty, I wish “Toni” hadn’t had so much baggage- it could have been the perfect solution.

Doesn’t it make you wonder which came first… the name or the journey? I can’t help but wonder if it’s a coincidence I was given that name considering my journey… or if it’s actually to blame for it.

Things to ponder… things to ponder.

Every now and again, I break the glass and allow people to see that life for me isn’t always smiles, glitter, and crayons. Last night, after battling with the feelings for a few months, I admitted that I’ve been feeling insecure and depressed about my appearance and dreading upcoming kink events. After gaining a few pounds this semester and going through some gender stuff, I’ve been scared to find out how I’ll be received.  After starting out feeling inadequate in the queer community, suddenly I find myself wondering whether I still have a place within the hetero scene where I started. Will people (especially men) still find me attractive? Will my play-partners still want to play with me?

Most importantly, it was a realization or resolution that prompted me to tweet. It was the realization that I’m not a size 2 and never going to BE a size 2. Nor am I 20 years old (any more). I’m never going to fit the bill of the “perfect woman”… so why should I compare myself to those that do and feel unhappy in the body I’m in just because I’m not? The fact is… I’m me. I’m beautiful, sexy, handsome, smart, and when all else fails… I’m incredibly unique. I shouldn’t compare myself to others because I’m me. I don’t look like them, but that doesn’t make me any less beautiful. (Can you tell this is still a learning process?)

Immediately after posting, I got a response from dear Uncle Nayland (Blake.) Oh, how I adore that man! He said the most amazing thing to me… something only an artist would say,”I think the power of your sexuality comes from the way that all your colors flash and blend, like irridescence.” I mean, really, isn’t that gorgeous? I just stared at the screen and smiled from the inside-out.

How amazing to be seen in that light! And what amazed me most was… I believed him. In that moment, I knew he was right.

It isn’t how I look that makes me beautiful- it’s my inner complexities and the fact that they all collide and smash together beautifully and tragically like a train that runs off the track.

What makes me attractive is my willingness to be all of me.

To be me.

Whoever and whatever that means in each moment.

Are you interested in participating in a study to help improve the understanding of the sexual health needs of FTM individuals?

Study Title:
Sexual Identity, Behavior and Risk among Female-to-Male (FTM) Transgender Persons who are currently using Testosterone

What’s Involved?
2 interviews lasting 90 minutes to 2 hours, conducted in person in San Francisco
A $20 gift card for the first interview
A $10 gift card for the second interview

Who’s Eligible?
Any FTM 21 or older who has been taking testosterone for a least one year

Who is conducting the study?
Researchers from UCSF, School of Nursing

To Find Out More Please Contact:

Stefan Rowniak, RN FNP
415 863 6615
email: stefan.rowniak@ucsf.edu

My dear friend, Lee spoke to Stefan. He’s looking for only a handful more guys who can do interviews in the next 4-6 weeks in San Francisco. His hope is to do a round 2 in the next year or two that would be open to phone and skype interviews as well as potentially an email survey for folks across North America. Until then, he is looking to start with folks in San Francisco only. According to Lee, Stefan is open to networking with other FTM sexual health projects, so feel free to drop him information on resources he could pair with.

“God or Goddess? Man or Woman? How the hell should I know anymore? I’m standing in front of the mirror. My chest is flat and furry, my beard dashing, and my cunt is hidden behind a bush that would make furry girl porn producer Rodney Moore go mad with lust. I laugh and think on the sacred third sex, the ergi, the different… hermes-aphrodite’s child with round breasts and hard cock… and I am not what I see in even those stories.”

Someone commented stating that perhaps it was time to write new stories. Honestly, I don’t even think they realize how dead-on that simple statement is. There just isn’t enough out there about transguys. There isn’t enough literature- fiction or otherwise – detailing our journeys and speaking about our experience. Images of bodies with both breast and cock are pervasive throughout culture, yet images of flat chests and cunts is not. We are the untold stories.

There is power in being seen, in being recognized. In a way, I suspect that we can not fully embrace ourselves and feel accepted until we can see ourselves reflected in image around us. It is hard enough to walk the path of third-gender, but even more so when the only images of people like you that you see… are still not a reflection of you.

I think they are right… perhaps now is time new ones were written.